it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
