Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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