Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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