The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
