whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Drunk is not a location!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
