Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
