i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
