oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
