can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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