Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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