I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
