So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
