If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
