he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
