Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
