at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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