perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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