I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
