it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
