I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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