Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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