one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
