Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
