I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
