When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
