try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
