i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
