I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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