Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
