I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Did we literally take a cab across the street
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
