My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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