Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
