I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
