I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
