a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
