Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
