It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
