Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Farmville is her only friend.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize
