his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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