She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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