smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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