You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
