I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
