You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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