I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
