i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
