No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
