May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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