happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
