I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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